About ME:
I find it difficult to talk about myself. There is so much to say and no words for any of it. I have deployed to both Iraq and Afghanistan, traveled to several countries, and lived much of the topics discussed in my BEHS 343 textbook.
My first marriage ended several years ago. In that, I was able to experience life with three stepchildren. Mid-way through the marriage, I discovered I had a daughter. She was six at the time, three years older than my marriage.
So, now, I am in the process of discovering a daughter I never knew. She has become a star in my darkened sky. We have faced many challenges after the discovery. Every day, there is a new challenge I face in having a child. I get to see her about once a year and she calls when she wants to talk.
I took this parenting class to try to learn a little more about raising a child. Some of my questions were answered, but as the saying goes, each answer leads to a new question.
Lost Memories by Logan Reed
Why do you fear,
when the path to take is so clear.
I can’t remember what it’s like to feel,
losing touch of what is real.
What is this place,
I ask as the tears run down my face,
I can’t remember what to do,
I can’t even remember you.
My mind a blank,
just lost in the ranks.
Stuck in the past,
my life, fading fast.
Fading, wasting, dissipating,
going away,
sun rising on another pointless day,
I wish for the old ways.
Lost memories,
never to be remembered,
gone, gone forever more.
–Logan Reed
This, for me, is a metaphor for my life. I lost my memories, and in turn lost all the memories I would have had with my daughter. It makes me see that I needn’t dwell on the past because those memories are gone; yet, focusing on the future will build new, exciting memories. The poem has a dark and dismal feel to it. I see this as the sadness and confusion my daughter and I felt in discovering the truth about her lineage, and all the trials we shared getting to today.